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| Please allow me to forget that feeling !! |
"Sometimes, it's hard to control and
understand our own heart.
It's simply just right inside your body,
controlling every single life of you ,
but yet, it's just hard to control it. "
Well, there is a very good guy friend of mine. I really appreciate this friend. We always share our thoughts, gossips about some random rumours and create seriouslly , totally , 100%-ly lame jokes which only both of us can understand. And yeah, it's kind of amazing as I can read his mind even though he didn't said any single word.
I never think about any possibility between us. All I know is, I just love getting along with him and I didn't feel any pressure when I am around him. I can be the real me in front of him. I can laugh, I can cried, I can go crazy like a mad people in front of him. I am who I am in front of him. What I know is to just follow the flow and let the flow goes on itself .
Until one day, my cousin drives me into the topic between me and him. It makes my mood swings. I start figuring about the questions my cousin has asked.
- Do you really care about him??
Of coarse I do!! He is my good friend! - What makes you define your "care about him" is just as a good friend of him ??
I started hestitate... - Do you ever think that you might go beyond the feeling of just being a good friend of him??
- Do you ever think about any possibilities between both of you rather than just become a good friend??
- Does he ever makes you heart trigger??
Well, I can just give him a clear answer that he is just a good friend of mine. But...WHY??? Why I feel like my heart is feeling weird? Why my mood swing? Why I feel moody?? I DON'T WANT THIS SHIT FEELING!!! I DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN!! It's weird if this feeling goes into a simple friendship. I love this friendship between us, and I don't want to spoil it just because of this stupid feeling.
Please God, guide me. Lead me out of this feeling and continue to be the usual me when I get along with him. :(
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