Friday, August 22, 2014

That feeling...

Please allow me to forget that feeling !!

"Sometimes, it's hard to control and 
understand our own heart.
 It's simply just right inside your body, 
controlling every single life of you ,
 but yet, it's just hard to control it. "


Well, there is a very good guy friend of mine. I really appreciate this friend. We always share our thoughts, gossips about some random rumours and create seriouslly , totally , 100%-ly lame jokes which only both of us can understand. And yeah, it's kind of amazing as I can read his mind even though he didn't said any single word. 

I never think about any possibility between us. All I know is, I just love getting along with him and I didn't feel any pressure when I am around him. I can be the real me in front of him. I can laugh, I can cried, I can go crazy like a mad people in front of him. I am who I am in front of him. What I know is to just follow the flow and let the flow goes on itself . 

Until one day, my cousin drives me into the topic between me and him. It makes my mood swings. I start figuring about the questions my cousin has asked. 

  • Do you really care about him??    Of coarse I do!! He is my good friend! 
  • What makes you define your "care about him" is just as a good friend of him ??   I started hestitate... 
  • Do you ever think that you might go beyond the feeling of just being a good friend of him??    
  • Do you ever think about any possibilities between both of you rather than just become a good friend??
  • Does he ever makes you heart trigger??

Well, I can just give him a clear answer that he is just a good friend of mine. But...WHY???  Why I feel like my heart is feeling weird? Why my mood swing? Why I feel moody?? I DON'T WANT THIS SHIT FEELING!!! I DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN!!  It's weird if this feeling goes into a simple friendship. I love this friendship between us, and I don't want to spoil it just because of this stupid feeling. 

Please God, guide me. Lead me out of this feeling and continue to be the usual me when I get along with him. :(

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